Very few people have learned my story of being physically and sexually abused in the past. In extreme transparency I open up about the dangers of falling into the trap of living in a state of victimization, and how powerfully Christ can redeem trauma by transformation.
Vanity manifests from victimization because your focus is only on YOU.
Your pain. Your burdens. Your unfairness.
Victimization breeds bitterness, resentment, a constant state of suffering, and completely prevents you from healing.
It becomes all consuming, exhausting, and isolating.
Instead of dealing with my trauma, I chose to repress it.
As a result this is what happened to me:
I longed for control in any area of my life because at one point it was robbed from me
I struggled to cope when things didn’t go as planned because I couldn’t function when control was taken from me
I built up walls that were once seen as “protection” that lead to defensiveness and victimization
I couldn’t sit still or have any “free time” in my life because it served as my outlet to compensate for actually processing my pain
There was little room for grace because any pain inflicted upon me convinced me to believe that person had to automatically be against me
When I was abandoned in my marriage, I had the prime opportunity to feed that deeply engraved victim role. Instead, God took hold of my heart and told me, “I’m going to use your pain as a trajectory”.
“See, I have refined you, though not as silver; I have tested you in the furnace of affliction. For my own sake, for my own sake, I do this. How can I let myself be defamed? I will not yield my glory to another.” Isaiah 48:10-11
I realized there was something rooted within me that allowed me to always feel like the victim, and as if the world was falling apart every time control was ripped from me.
I prayed for The Lord to reveal everything to me. In turn, through my dreams, He replayed my traumatic events before me that I fought for so long to run from. I finally had understanding.
“Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.” Matthew 7:7
I decided I was going to be done with being the victim, and choose to take the stand as a victor. I could stand confident as a victor because Christ already declared it into existence before me.
I was a survivor. I was rescued. I was healed. All because I allowed Jesus to reveal the hidden root, and with open palms welcomed redemption to begin.
Are you going to be the person who points the finger? Or are you going to fight to be the person who draws the circle? The circle that says, let me step back and examine ME.
Develop an acceptance and awareness that each and every one of us is fallen and broken because of sin. We are not perfect, and that’s completely okay.
What’s not okay is to blame someone else or the circumstances you’ve faced in your life for the state you choose to live in.
Yes, I said choose. Because it’s our choice.
People and situations are not responsible for how you respond.
Tragedy can become a trajectory because of the power behind Christ’s mighty love for you.
We can either be free and believe the truth that Christ will heal me, or succumb to the lie and blame the people or places around me.
Our circumstances don’t define us when Christ defied our circumstances by His sacrifice on the cross.
Stop living in the blame, and instead ask God to reveal how He can utilize you through your pain to bring glory back to HIS name!
Yes, the trauma or pain you have endured be so dang difficult to fight through. Friends, remember there’s absolutely nothing you can’t do with Christ walking alongside you.
Your pain will NEVER go to waste. Your pain has purpose.
“I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us.” Romans 8:18
Once you shift the “why me?” to the “how can you use me?”, you will see freedom and healing and transform that victim into victory.
Surrender before our mighty defender, and expectantly watch your beautiful transformation unfold right in front of you.